The Information Fast (and then feast)

We have landed in Bangkok, this is the last city of the trip. I have made it through to the end. I have been to Khorat, Chiang Mai and Phuket with this group. We will be in BKK for 10 days doing evening the usual worship night at a church. I’m on high alert for more legs growing and gold dust. I need more! I’m hungry for more of an experience. And more proof.

Throughout this series of speakers talking about God, you should know that I am fully invested in what they are talking about. I’ve never heard people talk about God this way before and also, I realized I really know nothing about the Bible beyond the Sunday school lesson flannel graphs. There has been some interesting stuff that has been said. So while I may be reading “The 4 Hour Work Week” on my iPhone during their worship sessions (remember, don’t judge! It was the only book I had on my iPhone!) 
I am tracking when people are speaking. 
Knowledge, information, wisdom, it’s something I love to collect from as many places I can.

So I would take notes. I was researching. I wanted to remember. 
I am a tried and true note taker. I write in the margins of the books I read, I keep track of great quotes in my phone, anything that strikes me, I record it. It’s actually not about going back to review it later. It’s because if I write things down then I can remember it. It stamps into my brain that way.

On the first evening of being in Bangkok, Josh (the leader of this trip) said something along these lines to me. 
“Hey I see you in your Bible, highlighting things and writing in your notebook, I think you should go on an information diet for 3 days. No books, no bible, no internet, no information”

Me: “OK!”
I’m intrigued by this challenge.  
I’ve also never heard a Christian tell me to not read my Bible. That is a first and I’m into this left turn.
I write that down in my notebook before I give it up for 3 days. 

Two days later...

It’s evening and the worship night at the church comes to a close. People are dispersing, some are chatting with friends and others are going home.

I’m in the corner hanging around, waiting to find out what we are going to do for dinner. 

When these two Thai guys approach me.
Thai guy 1 says to me [about his friend Thai guy 2] “He wants a prophetic word"
Me “I don’t do those.”

PAUSE THE STORY: While I was traveling with the group something that they would do before a sermon or after a sermon or just walking around at a mall or honestly just ALL THE FLIPPING TIME was giving people “prophetic words.”

I had heard from my friend Katherine over the year about how God can speak to you through pictures in your mind. But I hadn’t actually heard the term “prophetic word” before. It was a bit of a learning curve for me on this trip. Something else you should know about me is that my #1 strength is adaptability. I can adapt into something FAST. Often times it will feel like I “get something” before I actually do. Later my brain is like “wait, what?” 

So while on this trip I watched these people give “prophetic words.” I watched and I learned.
I even tried it a couple times. But both times, I wasn’t sure what I was saying. Was I speaking from my imagination? Is everyone just fooling themselves? I was into the encouragement and affirmation it gave people but I wasn’t totally convinced it was God. I’m obsessed with authenticity. Which is LEGIT in my opinion but it can also be a bit strangling at times. It can lead to un-necessary introspection when sometimes you should just let go and get in! Try something out! 
All that to say, I was a bit uneasy about doing this whole prophetic word thing because I needed to feel 100% authentic about it. 

UNPAUSE. Back to the story.

Thai guy 1 “He wants a prophetic word”
Me “I don’t do those."

They turn to walk away and in a flash this word drops into my mind. The word is “Writer.”

PAUSE: Let’s talk about what that feels like. A word dropping into your brain. 
Right now I want you to internally in your mind “say” the sentence “The Sky is Blue."
Say it over and over. Notice what it feels like.
NOW imagine that same sentence dropped into your mind. It feels different because you didn’t generate it.
Imagine it popping in out of nowhere. Running across your mind while your attention is somewhere else. You’re talking to someone, you’re engaged in something else and suddenly, this thought “the sky is blue” runs across your mind. It’s like “what was that?”
And I want you to know that I’ve had some experience in words running across my mind since this moment. Sometimes it’s really soft, so soft, you’re not sure if it’s you or not and sometimes it’s LOUD.
In this moment, it was almost loud. Enough where I caught it.

BACK TO THE STORY

Inside my mind “writer”
Me to him “WAIT!!!”
He turns around
Me: “Are you a writer?”
Him: “No”
Me internally: Dammit, I suck at this

He turns around to leave again

AND THEN….. 
BTW you ever notice stories about God always have an “and then.” The story is never over with that guy. It’s AND THEN over and over. He’s abundant. He doesn’t stop. He won’t relent. AND THEN. AND THEN. AND THEN. He’s gonna keep knocking on your door. He’s gonna keep giving you signs. He’s gonna keep talking. He’s gonna keep knocking AND THEN. AND THEN. AND THEN … until you answer.

Now back to my "AND THEN."

He turns around to leave AND THEN suddenly, I could see. 
I’m not speaking metaphorically. I’m speaking - I am looking at this guy but I am also looking at him inside a room somewhere. Trippy right? 
It’s like my brain is one of those Fisher Price view-masters from the 80s and a slide just clicked into my viewer.

“I see you! I see you in a room! It looks like an office! There is a desk with no drawers and a MAC desktop and a plant on the right and there is a bookshelf on the left wall and a window directly behind you and you are looking at a book! You are a looking at a book with pictures in it!”

I look at him flabbergasted “Do you know what I’m talking about?!”

Him: That’s where I work, that’s my office … and the book with pictures in it …. I work in Children Books.
Me: I look at him in utter disbelief. I can’t believe that just happened. I’m slightly afraid because well, the unknown, it can be intimidating.

Him: Do you see anything else?

Me: You’re gonna write a book!! You’re gonna write a children’s book!
Him (all sheepish) "No I don’t write, I just design ... blah blah blah”
I say blah blah blah because I don’t remember what else he said after that. Because whatever he said didn’t sound real because I KNEW he was going to write a book. 
Remember how I heard the word “writer” in the beginning? It all CLICKED in. Like these puzzle pieces in my head that finally found a home together. It’s almost like when your nose is itching while you are driving and you can’t itch it right away. And then you do and you’re like ahhh, relief.
That’s what it was like. 
It was like word plus picture = ohhhh, YOU’RE GONNA WRITE A BOOK. Ahh relief. 
And I will tell you it is a strange feeling to feel so confident about the future of someone you don’t know. It wasn’t even a question to me, or a hunch, it wasn’t even a belief. It was a “KNOW." 
So even though he (rather bashfully) brushed off the idea of a future writing career, I just ignored him and secretly prayed for him to get the confidence to KNOW that he has a future home awaiting his words.

I hugged him and walked away.

I AM EXHILIRATED!! WHAT WAS THAT??? My brain has never done that before!
I have to tell Josh about this!

So I begin to walk across the sanctuary of the church to find him. I take no less than a few steps when I pass by this girl sitting on the stage. She is a 20 something Thai girl, her hair is in a ponytail, and she is sitting on the floor of the stage talking to a friend. I walk by her and then "CLICK"
A new slide has clicked into my view-master.
I see a microphone floating over head.
No joke.
I can see a flipping microphone floating over head.
Like an awkward superstar, I just stand there staring at her.

She looks at me with a [completely justified] "can I help you" expression.

Me: I’m sorry but I see a microphone floating over your head …. does that mean anything to you?
And she looks at me with a huge smile and goes “Well, I’m a singer!”

I start to back away slowly. No seriously, I am 100% backing up. 

I turn around and walk away, MUST FIND JOSH, MUST FIND JOSH, BRAIN, EYES, DOING NEW THINGS, WHAT’S HAPPENING? THIS IS GOD? THIS IS GOD RIGHT? MUST FIND JOSH.

And I am continuing to walk across the room when I pass by this Thai guy. He's talking to a girl and suddenly CLICK CLICK CLICK. All these slides are clicking into my "view-master." I am seeing images flash over him. Or are they flashing inside my mind? I can’t really tell anymore. It’s happening so fast and I’m trying to catch up.

I completely interrupt his conversation (and like a crazed lunatic, because I don’t know how to be subtle about this yet) go
“Hi! I’m sorry but I’m seeing all these pictures flash over you, I see you with headphones on, listening to music and I see vinyl and I see a white guitar”
Him “I’m a musician”
Me: But you like produce music, you make electronic music, it’s kind of like “ambient” sounding? 
Him: YES! YES! YES!
Me: You are going to make music that will be a new sound people will listen to, to connect to God. It’s a new kind of worship music.
Him: YES! YES! THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO DO!
Me: And you’re gonna play it at Integratron? Or there’s something about Integratron? I see you at Integratron (You should also know that I am asking these questions in a rather loud panicked voice because I am trying to keep my words up with what I’m seeing and I’m overwhelmed and excited at the same time so I basically sound like ELF when he finds out Santa is coming to the mall. I mean I am high pitched and I am freaked.)

Him: YES!!!!! YESSS!! YESS!!! I was just at Integratron a month ago. That’s exactly what I want to do, I wanna make that kind of music for sound baths. I wanna make a new kind of worship.
Me: WOAH…..(whole body and mind just go into slow mo….how did I know that? It was like words came out before I had a chance to actually know what it was I was saying.)
Listen it’s one thing to talk about Integratron in LA. (If you don’t know what it is, google it, but it’s basically a tabernacle where they do sound baths and a myriad of other things in Joshua Tree) but remember I AM IN BANGKOK. And I am talking to a Thai kid that I’ve never met before in my life. 

HOLY CRAP! HOLY BANANAS! LITERALLY... HOLY!! I THINK I’M HEARING GOD!
I think I am hearing and seeing God talk to me!
I mean He’s putting floating icons over people’s heads like they are SIMS! This is nuts!

But I am stoked!!
Because GOD IS SPEAKING!
GOD SPEAKS!
and He’s speaking to me?!!!! 

I need to find someone I know to tell them this right now!!!! I spin around to bolt in the other direction to find anyone I know to tell them this incredible story when this guy pops up out of nowhere and goes

“HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME? CAN YOU GIVE ME A WORD?”

And I’m like … dangit
Here’s how I feel in my heart at this very moment: Dude, I’m 3 out of 3, I don’t want to break the streak! This is a good story. Also, I don’t really know how this works yet. And 2% still wanna make sure this is God and I’m not having some kind of hallucinogenic stroke.

But a different part of my heart beeps into the cynical side of it and it says “just try”

Me to the guy “OK"
I look at him. 
Nothing.
Me to God “come on come on come on come on!” 
Nothing.
Everyone is looking at me.
Hello pressure.

And then…. I see it.
This is like a picture in my imagination.
Not like the other two. It’s different. 
And it’s kind of dumb.
Am I just making this up?

Nope. I’m not saying this. This doesn’t make any sense. This is definitely just my imagination. This is my brain popping in the first thing it could. 
Kind of like in Ghostbusters when they are told to not think of anything and Ray suddenly just gets a memory of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
That must be what this is. 
This isn’t a thing.

I stand there, hoping God will do another flashy thing.

But that dang picture in my mind won’t go away. 
It’s STICKING.
And It’s STICKING HARD.

I’m trying to clear my head and think of anything else but this dumb picture won’t budge.
After several seconds (which feels like an eternity when people are staring at you waiting for you to say something profound) 

I give up - FINE!
I belt out “I see an empty shopping cart!”
I say it the way someone would exasperatedly admit to something they didn't want to admit. 

The guy looks at me for a second and then goes “I manage a store called “The Shopping Center”

You gotta be kidding me. Is this real life?

I suddenly have more to tell him, how God wants to fill this empty shopping cart and his business. I pray for him and then run to the green room where I find Josh.

I tell him the story between exasperation and excitement!

And he goes “Wow, and look, it’s only day 2!”

The information fast! I’d almost forgotten about it. Is this connected to that?

I went to bed that night with that thought swirling. “It’s only day 2”

Is something gonna happen on Day 3? 

What’s happening to me? Is there more? 
This is incredible.
I kinda feel like a Jedi right now!

I can’t sleep.

I don’t want to get excited …. meaning: I don’t want to get disappointed.
This experience was incredible!
This is fine.
It’s fine if nothing else happens.
But WHAT IF something else happens?

SERIOUS QUESTION HAPPENING IN MY HEART
“AM I GONNA GO STRAIGHT YODA AND MAKE THINGS FLOAT WITH MY MIND???”

See what I mean about adapting? I'm ready to go full throttle STAR WARS with this even though I still don't quite understand it all.

So I wrestle with it all again.

But no matter what, this thing that happened. 
And it happened to me! I can vouch for it!
I remembered my prayer from a week ago. "Look in order for me to believe, you're gonna have to do something to me"

No one can take this away from me.
I saw those things.
I SAW THEM.

I am thankful and grateful and I feel like I just got a Christmas present!

But I am also still excited that something else may be coming.
But I’m trying to just focus on being grateful for what just did happen.
THANK YOU FOR MY PRESENT GOD. Good job.

I go to bed that night stoked about the day I just had ....and allowing myself to be a tiny bit expectant for tomorrow, because after all “It’s only day 2."

NEXT UP: SOMETHING HAPPENS ON DAY 3! SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS ON DAY 3!!!!!!!!!!
And it can be described with a 4 letter word that starts with “F”
NO! Not that word ya filthy animals. 
This word: "FIRE”